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Friends Thursday, 3 November 2005

Posted by dragonzlad in Uncategorized.
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I guess everyone loses friends as we move along with our lifes. I remember 2 incidents that marked the end of 2 very close friendship I had. It’s rather silly to have lost the friendships over such incidents. I guess we were both immature then.

Friendship 1: Primary 6

It was almost the end of primary school for us. We were in primary 6 then (12 years old) and we used to walk out from school to the bus interchange. We had this small bus interchange near school then. We were both close and would do many activities together. I still remember that his nickname then was “Chicken Wing” coz that was his favourite food (i think!). And if I remember correctly, his name is Xuan Feng (or something like that). One day, as we were walking out to the bus interchange with a group of friends, he mentioned that he liked to gamble (card games or mahjong i think) and that one of his parents loved to play too. I was not too careful about word nuance (c’mon, I was only 12!) and I exclaimed,”Like mother/father like son!”. It was meant as a compliment, I mean who wouldn’t like to be compared favourably to their parents? Unfortunately, he took it as an insult. And he refused to speak to me or have anything to do with me since. We soon lost touch with each other after we left school for our respectively secondary schools. Funny how 4 words could ruin a friendship just like that.

Friendship 2: In Yr 3 of University
I had a very close friend from secondary school then. One day, after returning home for the summer holidays, I met up with this friend. He asked a question then about personal choices particularly about virginity. Perhaps it was my time away in a western society or time away from home, whatever, that made my thinking changed. To be exact, I was more liberal than my friend. He couldn’t accept my way of seeing things and was really stubborn about his views. I got exasperated then as I couldn’t understand why someone would ask for another’s opinion and refuses to understand the viewpoint. After all those years, I should have known his temperament and should have controlled myself. Unfortunately I didn’t. I mean, if as a close friend, I could not even speak to him truthfully about how I feel and in a passionate way that I deem fit, then what kind of close friendship is that? However, he took offence to my exasperation. On hindsight, I guess I should have tried to respect him more. Well, after that incident, there was a noticeably long absence in our keeping in touch. To this day, while we still keep in contact once in a blue moon, it never was the same anymore. Strange isn’t it? All that years of friendship could not withstand that one little test.

The reason why I blogged this was because I never could get over these 2 incidents. I have always wondered why it should have happened that way. C’est la vie I guess. Time to move on….

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