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Lesson in Love Tuesday, 27 November 2007

Posted by dragonzlad in Life in General.
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I caught myself just as I was about to say,”My biggest regret was to have met J.” to a friend when we were discussing the betrayal that I had experienced. Then I realised that it wasn’t true, for if not for J, I would not have understood what being loved feels like and what it is to love someone.  What started off as a game to see if I could be made to leave my then-ex girlfriend, opened my eyes to the games people can play on one another even if they are “friends” and which also turned out to be the greatest lesson in love. While I am certainly more careful now with a certain group of people who will always appear in my life as long as we have the same group of friends, I guess I can’t say that meeting J was my biggest regret.

Zouk Saturday, 17 November 2007

Posted by dragonzlad in Life in General.
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I used to like clubbing when I was studying in uni. It’s one of the few things that we could do in the evenings then. But I haven’t done so for a long time now as I got older. It was a very rare chance that I found myself once more at Zouk last week. The crowd at Zouk has changed. I remember a time when the dressing would be very avant garde (to me anyway!) where fashionable, quirky and even strange dressing can be found. Now, it is simply fashionable or just simple. I also remember that the Velvet room used to house really gorgeous men and women. Now, it seems just ordinary. Maybe back then, I had stumbled into a models’ night out in Zouk. So there I was back in Zouk after many years of absence. I wasn’t sure what I’ll do. Drinking is very expensive in Singapore so I know drinking myself silly is out of the question. And dancing in Singapore is ridiculous since it more like a body rub with so many people squeezed into a dance floor.

I was introduced to some people my friend knew and we moved over to the members-only area on the second floor where they had bottles of whiskey and volka opened. The drinking started. Somehow the music that I have always found to be far too loud and deafening seems to get softer as the drinks flowed. A caucasian man started talking to me as I looked down on the gyrating bodies below me. After a few minutes of chatting, I excused myself. It just got a little weird to be talking to someone who was very touchy feely. Of course, when that happened I knew I was being hit upon. Seems like gay Caucasian men are less inhibited compared to the locals. The only other two times (yeah, it is so rare that I can remember the number of times) when I was molested were in this gay club that my uni mates and I had gone to (for the great music there of course) and at a night out in Singapore with some friends. The latter was the most apparent as the offender wasn’t too concerned about concealing her actions. She probably knew then that I would never know her identiy as the group hug that was taking place would have concealed the owners of that pair of amorous hands. Luckily she never ventured south and I didn’t have to make a fuss about it.

So my friends were laughing at me for being hit on by a gay man. A few minutes later, another group of men came next to our group. They had Moet with them. There is something about gay men and their Moet I think. So far, I have seen at different occasions where gay men drank Moet at clubs. Was it like an unspoken invitation for other gay men to approach, like in the use of mineral water bottles at cruising grounds many years ago in Singapore. Has the local gay population gone upmarket and adopted the use of Moet instead?

I started to get a little drunk which was easy considering that I hardly drink. And I started to groove and dance along to the music. Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves and one girl seemed to get friendly with M. It wasn’t surprising given his tanned, model goodlooks and a hot bod.

By the time we called it a night, I was literally stumbling out of the club. Never been that drunk since those days in the military. It was quite a laugh but not the next morning when the high wore off leaving a horrible lousy feeling!

X’mas Wish List Sunday, 4 November 2007

Posted by dragonzlad in Life in General, Objects of my desire.
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I’ve never written a wish list before. When I first started working and for those years that I was “single”, cash flow was never an issue and I never thought more than twice about buying anything so long as it wasn’t an expensive item. Now that I have changed jobs, I find myself having to shore up my depleted savings with a smaller pay. So that takes precedence over many things nowadays. Life was simpler without that  many commitments! And because of that I realised that I had to think hard about the things I want. Yeah, they are mostly “Wants” :p

In fact, I have to create a list and go through a list of questions in my head – “Do I need this?”, “Can I settle for something else and save money in the process?”…. Just like the bag that I had bought last week. I had wanted something stylish (read “branded”) but which would cost me several hundreds of dollars. I mulled over it for weeks before buying a leather bag that costs me a tad over a hundred without compensating in the style department. Of course I didn’t bother much about the leather just so long as it looks and feel real to me. It was a good buy. Everyone thought it looked really nice.

And now that it is November, I have begun to mentally accumulate the things I would like to have for Christmas. Unfortunately, I never once had anything I had really wished for in a Christmas present so I guess I’ll have to be buy them for myself! Here’s what is in my list so far:

X’mas Wish List

1. SonyEricsson w960i S$800

Sonyericsson W960i

2. Nike+ S$55 and Ipod Nano S$248 (previous generation 2GB S$80)

Nike+

3. Mizuno Wave Creation 8 S$229 or Addidas Adizero LT $178 or
    Mizuno Wave Rider 10 S$189

Mizuno Wave Creation 8

4. Nokia speakers S$100+
5. 2 More shirts and trousers S$200 (a definite must-get as I’ve a severe shortage!!)
6. ……..

A bulk of the list (currently anyway) consists of fitness items as I have recently been inspired to run more regularly and I thought it will really be nice to run in proper running shoes and train with electornics (Nike+ & Ipod Nano) that will measure the distance, pace etc and select the best music according to my pace.

Sadly, as my finances is unlikely to improve very soon, I’ll probably have to settle for the cheaper options such as the cheapest shoes in Item 3 and stick with my current phone (which I still think is the best gadget so far)!

 Check out the new yet-to-be-released in Singapoe SonyEricsson W960i:

Change Thursday, 1 November 2007

Posted by dragonzlad in Life in General.
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How much of yourself, in terms of personality and character, would you change yourself to fit the environment or to better yourself?

I realised that throughout my life, I have always absorbed all the feedback that I can get so that I can be a better person, either professionally or as a peron. Where feedback was not forthcoming, I would observe people that I thought were role models and learnt from them. Did I lose my own flavour along the way that many people say would be the consequence of such an action? An ex-uni mate of mine did say that I was boring once but then again her words doesn’t carry any weight with me, or with most of our mates for the matter, as she isn’t exactly someone that many would look up to.

So far, this effort has done me well. And I am puzzled lately when I realised that a close friend doesn’t share the same sentiments. I am beginning to realise that even the closest of friends cannot accept frank feedback that are given with in the most constructive manner. Or can they? I think it all depends on how much ego one has and how willing one is to change. No one loves to be told of his shortcomings but if he is unwilling to acknowledge that no one is can be perfect, then he would have allowed his ego to prevent him from being the better person that he can be. As for willingness, a whole industry in change management has sprung up to assist corporations in winning the mind and heart of employees in their quest to re-engineer operations and improve bottom lines. So it is defintely not an easy thing to tackle, like ego. Both are so fused with emotions, beliefs and principles that it can be difficult to deal with even for the person in question. This is certainly the case for dear friend!